He’s Played Fortnite Since 2018… And He Might Be The Worst Player Ever 💀

I spied on my Fortnite friend of 7 years… and it was an absolute disaster.

Or: how 50,000 V-Bucks almost turned into a survival documentary.

Some friends you love, but you'd never hand them your car keys — even virtual ones. My buddy Vader is exactly that kind of friend. He's been playing Fortnite since 2018. It's now 2025. Do the math: seven years. Seven years running around the island, collecting free buses, and apparently avoiding any form of skill progression.

I'm no pro player myself. I can hold my own. But Vader… Vader is a special case. A time anomaly. A guy who has witnessed ten seasons without ever understanding why you don't drive a car straight through a forest.

One day, I had an idea both brilliant and terrifying: spectate him solo, without telling him, for an entire match. To spice things up, I made him a deal: every elimination = 2,000 V-Bucks. A Victory Royale? 50,000 V-Bucks. That's about $400 real dollars. Money I clearly didn't want to spend.

Let's just say I was sweating until the very last second.

First observation: build mode is his mortal enemy

Within seconds, the brutal truth hits: Vader never understood the point of building. He's facing a real player editing walls at lightning speed. What does Vader do? He hops in a car and drives away. Questionable strategy, but honestly — better to flee than die stupidly.

But soon, the little details pile up:

• He ignores a purple Hollow Twister. Twice.
• His inventory is organized like a fridge after a party — complete chaos (shockwaves in the second slot? really?).
• He shoots a chest to open it. No, I'm not making this up.

At one point, I watch him capture a flag. He does it. Good job, Vader. Then he emotes on a bot. Emotion. On a bot. I did not have that in my humiliation spreadsheet.

Redemption always starts with an accident

Then comes the second match. Something shifts. Vader actually farmed wood. He learned the lesson: no materials, you're a duck in a shooting gallery. He runs into a player. He shoots. He hits. 2,000 V-Bucks.

Then another. And another. Suddenly, I'm not laughing anymore. I check the player count: 15 left. Then 10. Then 5.

Wait, is he actually going to do it?

Phone in hand, I start Googling "price of 50,000 V-Bucks". $400. I could already feel my credit card crying.

A finale worthy of a thriller

With four players left, Vader hides in a bush. Is there a better metaphor for his career? He listens to the gunfire, breathes, barely moves. The circle is with him. Then suddenly, he whips out a witch's broom and starts a series of questionable but brave builds.

He misses one golden opportunity. Then another. The final duel arrives.

He sees the enemy. He has the shot. He has the timing. He fumbles.

Victory slips through his fingers by a hair. He finishes second.

I screamed. Out of relief — because I just saved $400. But also, just a tiny bit, out of disappointment. Because Vader — the guy I thought was a lost cause — almost forced me to respect his game.

Final verdict (from me, the judge)

First half: catastrophic. Car escapes, ignores loot, zero building → 2/10.

Endgame: smart positioning, surprising composure, late but useful builds → 8/10.

Overall stats: 7 eliminations, 14,000 V-Bucks earned, zero Victory Royale.

Does Vader deserve a 10? No. Did he earn my respect? A little. Will I ever do this challenge again? Probably not — my wallet couldn't handle an actual win.

If you ever run into a player driving a car through trees, emoting on bots, and swapping a purple gun for a blue one… say hello for me.

And whatever you do: never let them drive.

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What would you rate Vader? I give him a solid 7 for emotion, and a 2 for shockwave placement. Your turn.